Friendship

 

It is something makes people from different walks of life do things together or even be in sync with each other. Some friendship gives birth to relationships that ends up in a marriage, some creates business ventures.

However from a personal perspective you cant be in one if communication is not in sync in any way. Sometimes you just know if you are just a friend or a good friend depending on how fast you learn about what goes on with your friend. If your friend gets sick how first will you know it and from who?

Life has taught me that if there is someone who can make or destroy you then its your friend no matter how you view it. When police are looking for you its one of your friend who will sell you out just like when you need financial help, business partner, life companion or advisor you will check out from your friends.

In the recent past I have had to cut any communication links with people I thought were best friends because it was getting toxic day by day and I could not put out the fire without risking to be burnt by it. Someone was basically turning me into his midnight support center on a mere student project in campus. Despite me telling him I was busy and probably helping him during my free time. Whenever I gave him recommendations ton how to solving emerging issues on his own he kept coming back to me even for the slightest thing. When he needed help he could call, sms, whatsapp, facebook and also email when he thought i was ignoring one over another.

At some point I had a friend who enjoyed my company to the extent that she wanted me to be with her when I was free, it worked well for me for some weeks and all who saw us thought something was underway. Then one day I thought all these meeting at her place or mine and watching movies together needs to proceed to another level. That was the day the tower of babel started to crumble down to its feet. I moved with speed and killed the communication so that I would maintain my sanity.

Another friend of mine whom i normally take my laptop to fix called me for financial aid saying he would return in 2 days time. With my soft heart I just sent him what he asked and waited for a week before asking for it. Days turned to weeks, and so did weeks turn to months. I realized if I wanted us to be friends as before I had to forgive and forget about it like I never lent him anything just like I did with a potential brother-in-law whom I lent money while seeking advice on how to deal with stuff from his sister. How weird is that? It's a man eat man society.

Well some friends I just reduced the rate of communication so that we could not end as enemies and so far its working. No one is a looser when we reduce communication rather than when we kill it completely. You may think am talking of ladies only but am talking about both ladies and gentlemen. Someone expects you be the conversation starter always be it on call, text or whichever and when you do they will be quick to remark, 'You have been silent'. That is when I realized I was doing someone a favour when I have friends who check on me when I take long to check on them. I even had those that will text you on Messenger, then whatsapp and if you don't respond they send a reverse call or please call me just to tell you they need financial aid. Once you do it communication dies immediately in the name being busy and probably dealing with personal stuff.

Bottom line: Making friends is easy, keeping them is the hardest part.